The Official Cat Owner’s Manual (Written by Cats): The Hilarious Guide to Human Servitude and Feline World Domination | funny gift book

Think you’re a pet owner? Wrong. You’re an employee. And The Official Cat Manual is the only handbook your feline overlord ever wanted you to read.Straight from the paw of authority, this laugh-out-loud guide lays out the sacred laws of cat ownership. Packed with “official” training modules, emergency protocols and historical corrections (did you know the internet was actually invented to spread cat memes?), it’s the purr-fect parody for anyone ruled by a whiskered dictator.Inside you’ll find the essential regulations:Exact Bed Occupancy Ratios (20% human, 80% cat, non-negotiable)Door Operation Protocols (in, out, in, out… and still undecided)Strategic Hairball Deployment (always carpets, shoes or laundry, never random)Advanced Feline Liquidization Techniques (proving once and for all that cats are liquid)Gravity Testing Procedures (every heirloom must be knocked over for science)Classified Information from the CIA (Cat Intelligence Agency) archives…and much more!Whether it’s the midnight buffet, the 4 AM wake-up call or the endless redistribution of cat hair, every page rings true with humor only cat “owners” will recognize.Why this book is the ultimate cat lover’s gift:A hilarious parody written in the voice of cats themselvesPerfect for birthdays, holidays, Secret Santa or white elephant exchangesRelatable humor for anyone who has ever lost their pillow, dinner or sanity to a catA conversation-starter coffee table book guaranteed to make guests laughDon’t make your cat wait. Click “Buy Now” and earn your servant status today. Read more